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Secrets Make Friends

29 Sep

My sister-in-law got me started on the blog postsecret, where people send anonymous postcards to a person in New Jersey who posts them on the web.  Some are hiliarious, some are weird, and others are just plain sad.  Knowing that it’s someone’s innermost secret- one that they have probably shared with no one- makes the site really fascinating. 

I should be grading papers right now, but instead, I read the blog and got inspired to post a few secrets of my own.  (Grading can wait until 20 minutes before my husband gets home from bowling, so it looks like I was busy all night.)  Here are a few secrets about me that I’m not ashamed to share:

  • When I don’t know the answer to a question or am just flat out wrong in an argument with my husband, I often respond by making fart noises on my arm.  It sometimes distracts him from the issue, but always pisses him off.
  • I would prefer a meal of box macaroni and cheese over meat and potatoes from a restaurant. In fact, I often order meals that are socially acceptable rather than ones I actually like.
  • Not only do I enjoy prank calls, I am really, really good at them.  Like, I could quit my day job good at them.
  • Just about every day, I find a reason to do high kicks.
  • I sleep with the thinnest, rattiest pillow at night, which I lovingly refer to as “L.P.” (It stands for “little pillow”- obviously).
  • Someday when I have vast amounts of money and time- you know, because that is likely- I want to work for myself, as a writer and a photographer..and a professional speaker (because there’s such a demand for that??).  And I want to own a camera that doesn’t have duct tape on it.
  • Thinking about being a mom someday makes me nervous.
  • I am not sure how much longer I can make it in life without actually learning to cook something.
  • I don’t mind that my dog drinks out of the toilet.  I actually flush it for him so he can gets the freshest water.
  • I pass off cookies from a mix as homemade by adding a little vanilla extract. Works every time.
  • I skip washing my hair whenever I can just so I can sleep later.

If you’re still reading, I would like to hear about your secrets.  Post one as a comment maybe?  Just sayin’.  Secrets make friends.

Success and failure

27 Sep

I need to come clean about two things since my last post- one success and one failure. 

For the failure, Danielle is going to beat me and others will chastize me (rightfully so). I have set myself back at least another week with this screw up, and hate to admit that this mistake is actually physically painful…..

My thumb- purely a nub again.

On another note, I had a major success this week.  I ran 3.2 miles without stopping in just over 32 minutes at the Corn Festival 5k.  As a husky kid who has never had any sort of athletic prowess, stamina, or worth when it comes to activity, this is a huge accomplishment and I feel pretty good about it. I might even do it again. 

Just before my first 5k!  Our dog is showing his support by sitting on my feet with an erection.

Preparing to ‘Fest

21 Sep

In just over 12 hours, the 5 day haze known as “Corn Festival” will commence here in Morris.  I’ve been coming up to Motown for Corn Fest long before I became a Wilkinson and would consider it one of my favorite holidays, next to my birthday of course.  This ridiculously busy event is, as my friend Madison described in her blog, “the time in which the entire town of Morris forgets that they are civilized and drinks on the street, eats mass amounts of fried food and takes far too many vacation days in a row!” (Sounds strikingly similar to my hometown’s Burgoo, without all the drinking in the streets since we only have a few streets in A’ville.)

This is my first Corn Fest as a Morris resident, so naturally, I am planning to follow suit by taking half a vacation day, eating sick amounts of greasey foods on a stick, and hosting people at our home prior to Saturday’s festivities.  I’m also going to squeeze in running the 5k (before I eat those sick amounts of meaty, cheesey goodness on a stick of course) and putting in some quality volunteer time for one of my favorite charities, Grundy-Three Rivers Habitat for Humanity, which is raffling a 2010 Camaro on Sunday!

So stay tuned for this week’s Corn Fest-related posts, which may be difficult to understand because of my cholesteral binge.

Hasta la vista, nubs.

19 Sep

This shameful photo was taken this evening- September 19, 2010- upon the declaration of war against my insatiable, subconcious urge to bite my fingernails.  I have had enough.  They are pitiful to look at and the habit is just plain sick.  So why in the eff do I still do it? 

In most other capacities of my life, my adage is “If you don’t like something, change it.”  I am not one to sit idly by when I know there is a better way to do something or if something can be prevented.  Whether at work, in my personal life, or when I’m trying to help out a friend, this is just how I roll.  (Note: this is why I am a terrible person to ask for advice.  I will tell you what I think, if you ask me, and then if you don’t do anything to change the situation, I can no longer listen to you vent about it.  I have zero patience for things that seem to have real solutions sitting right in plain view.)  Yet, for years- like since I grew teeth- I have continued to nibble my “nubs” as my friend Danielle so lovingly refers to my fingernails.  Well, one exception was when I went through a two year acrylic nail phase, which is no longer an option due to a massive mortgage payment 🙂

Not anymore.  I am done biting my nails.  I am a grown up; I pay taxes and meet the age requirements to rent a car.  Therefore, I am going to have hands like a grown up and also stop ingesting insane amounts of germs via my constant hand-to-mouth contact. Blech.

I am vowing to post periodic photos of my reconfigured nubs as the nail growth ensues. 

Wow, this is turning out to be such an exciting blog 🙂

High, low

12 Sep

One of my favorite ice breakers to open one of my classes with is the “high low” game.  (Side note: Ice breakers are generally terrible, so I gain a lot of points with students at the start of each semester by making fun of them, then subsequently threatening to do them.  One ice breaker threat that is always good for an uncomfortable laugh from the class is “Do we need to make a human knot?”  I digress….)

Anyway, for this game, you just say the high of your day then the low of your day.  If I have remembered to buy candy before class, we do another version: Say something that was sweet about your day and take a Hershey Kiss from the bag, then say something that sucked (or was “sour” if you have a PG-13 audience) then take a Lifesaver from the bag. 

So, for me, today’s high was sipping coffee on the sun porch with my mom.  My parents were able to come visit us for the first time  since we moved here last night/today.  They’ve had health issues that kept them from traveling.  Mom and I drank our coffee in pajamas, gossipped, and got quiet whenever a male tried to enter the room.  It was glorious. My low, however, was about 15 minutes ago when I discovered my husband unintentionally locked me out of the bedroom and is now sound asleep.  We’re talking I-just-ate-a-huge-burrito-and-had-a-couple-of-beers-type-of-sleep, so there is little chance of waking him.

But before my dog and I give in and sleep on the futon in the guest room, I’m going to find some pots and pans to bang together to see if I can stir him.

A Few Gems at Jewel

11 Sep

It’s Friday and my husband’s been in bed for an hour.  Me?  I am still unwinding from a hectic work week.  Between the two jobs, I put in a lot of hours. It was one of those weeks where you wake up in the morning and give yourself a pep talk just to get in the shower.  But I’m not the only person in the world who works hard, so enough about that.

When I got home and started blabbering about my day, my conversations, and my drama, it only took about 4 minutes before my husband and my dog kindly told me (nonverbally) that I had interrupted their peace and needed to calm down-preferably in another room.  So…naturally I went grocery shopping at 9pm to help me unwind. 

Anyway, on my Friday night adventure to Jewel, I saw a few things that distracted me:

1) A teenage stock boy’s legs sticking out of the section with the paper products.  I slowly strolled by with my cart, which had only 3 functional wheels and drug the fourth like a club foot.  Well, the club foot was not so stealthy and managed to jostle the boy, who apparently was texting….in and among the paper towels. When we made eye contact, I was embarrassed for him, so I quickly took my club foot cart onto bigger and better things, like napkins.

2) The cutest 70+ year old couple having a laugh over canned vegetables.  My first thought was, “Wow, they look so happy together”, which is an accomplishment when you’ve been watching the same person clip their toe nails for the last 50 years. My second thought was, “What are you crazy kids doing awake this late? Don’t you know Matlock was on 4 hours ago? You should be in bed.”

These are pretty insignificant things, I know. But there are so many moments like this  that are just better when you tell someone else.  These make for some of the best stories when I get together with my friends.  You have any of these everyday gems to share? I’d love to hear them.

Fitness fail.

8 Sep

I have gotten into a terrible habit where I rarely leave work on time.  So tonight, as I do at least once every week, I missed going for a run with our running group.  Three point two miles was on the docket again tonight and I was hoping to beat my times from last week.

Well, I missed going with group, so I came home with every intention to go for a run on my own.  Instead, I finished off a bag of potato chips, with the help of my dog, who loves Wavy Lays as much as I do.  To top that off, I washed it down with bag of 100 calorie cookies, and three finger scoops of a cherry cobbler.

Needless to say I will not be moving much this evening and will instead wait for my pants to get tighter. My self-esteem is awesome right now.